Upon Leaving

I remember sitting, tired, on my bed during the last few nights of my time in London thinking about writing my last post. I thought about what I could say about London and me. It turned out to be a very difficult task, so much so that I kept putting it off. How could I say what London meant to me until I wasn't there anymore?

So finally, after many months, many trips on the Tube and many legal drinks, I am back in Massachusetts and back to my normal, regular life. To be honest, at times it feels as if I never left , as if it was all a very long, interesting dream. Although sometimes I'm surprised at how much I've missed. I've had to remind myself about things that used to be second nature, like the route to Quinnipiac or the numbers of friends' dorms there.

I find it difficult to articulate much more about my experience other than that it certainly changed me and my life. I am not the same: I dress differently, I have a new hairstyle, and new friends - but I also think differently. I see the world in a slightly different way. I know what it's like to live in the city, what it's like to be alone in an unfamiliar one, and what it's like to meet people you know from the start that you may never see again.

Although there are things that I wish I hadn't had to give up in order to go to London, the truth is that I really like the person that I've become and the person that I am at the very moment that I am typing this. I think I let myself be open to all sorts of new - be it people, experiences, places, foods - and as a result, I am renewed. If I hadn't taken the risk, I wouldn't now have the reward.

There are a lot of things I will miss about London and England. I already miss living in the city and being in the center of accessibility. I yearn for the way the British accepts others more freely and openly. I miss the oldness of the architecture. I definitely miss the eloquent feel of British speech. I miss being away, and feeling like for a few months, it didn't really directly matter to anyone else what I did (even if that may not be true). I miss being able to travel, having Europe and a myriad of culture right at my fingertips.

I miss my friends.

I miss feeling like an adult with some direction.

But from here and now on, I can and will only move forward.


It's not about what I've left behind in London, but what I've taken home with me. And that is so much more that I can ever express.


Cheers,
B.

P.S. Check back soon - I might post a link to a new blog I might be starting this summer.